who was wrong..she or me?

It was neither day nor night..
When I was hit by..love at first sight..

The emotion was brand new..
Mind hanged..didn’t know what to do..

Happy to see her happy..
Sad to see her sad..
To see her from a distance..i was glad..

Days were converted into a semester..
Didn’t want to tell her..could be a disaster..
Though..i was happy..rather happier..

It was time..to go away..
Still didn’t manage any words to say..
And I called it day..

Technology..a bliss or a sin..
It was evening and the lights were dim..
I opened my heart out on a chat..
It was my only chance..i knew that..

I was your secret lover..
I framed myself with this cover..
she didn’t have the idea..and she had no words..
but..this time..i showed all my cards..

I didn’t expect anything..neither I asked for a yes..
All I knew was..i was relieved..not stressed..

She had someone..
To continue talking to me..could be a mess..
I again said..i don’t want your yes..

We winded up..with a warm goodbye..
I did..what I thought was right..

Again days passed..even months went away..
I confess..passed some weeks seeing her pictures..
Feeling was amazing..as I had no regrets..


And..she poked one day..
Technology again..bliss or sin..what to say?

I had no idea..where it will lead..
If I had..i could have flee..

Words became sentences..
Sentences became stories..
Stories became thoughts..
Minutes became hours..
Hours became night..
From sunset to sunrise..
never tired never bored..
not even a single word was forced..

it was a dream for me..what was this for her?
But still..i didn’t expect something..
Everything.. I left upto her..

This is wrong..we should not do this..
She said and resisted herself..
This was a sign..and I should have stopped myself..

I said..its totally fine..
Those were best days of mine..

These episodes of sudden talks and resistance continued..
And I was sure..i was addicted..or I was fooled..

The best part was..
We never met, so I was not sure..what she really wanted to do..
Either she wanted to do everything for her family..
Or to leave everything and be with me..

She left everything on the lord..
And the same thing..but this, I couldn’t afford..
I did my best to convince her..to make a decision..
But I failed..and it took almost a season..

Finally, I decided to meet her and talk face to face..
She resisted again..and believed in her prays..


But I made my mind..
Dropped her a message that I was coming..
Again..i left the decision on her..to meet or not to..

She agreed for a meeting..with a half heart..
As she believed nothing will get changed..
And said she didn’t love me..everything was just a damn attraction..
I smiled and asked to say same words..looking into my eyes..

I left on the day from my office in night..
It was fog and road had no light..
I knew it was risky..and the idea was not bright..
But I was not in the position to deny and not to go..
As I want to see what  emotion she would show..

After the longest day of my life..
I managed to meet her..at five..
This was my last chance..and she didn’t said even a single word..

I am tired now..and I cannot do anything else to make up your mind..
And put a full stop to my lines..
She still had no words..and even didn’t had courage to look into my eyes..
Nevermind..i stood and asked for leave..
We walked together to the station..with no words but millions thoughts..
I was clear now..that she could not take a stand..
It made me stronger..and determined..and I was sure it was the end..

It’s been like ages and I am in a normal routine..
My mind has no thoughts now..its purely clean..

I just want to ask..who was wrong..she or me?

I cannot say her a coward..trust and decisions of family..she was bounded by these..
Does this make her right? Me, wrong?

My intentions were true..bounded with the decision..that she could have made..
Does this make her wrong? Me, right?




--
Inspired from a true story..

still I do?

And she came back..

She came back in my sleep..

She came back in my thoughts..

But I ask myself, and I have no clue..

Forget her? miss her? forgive her? 

love her? 

still I do?

And she looked at me..

She played that eye game with me..

She again used her charming smile on me..

But I ask myself, and I have no clue..

Hide from her? Talk to her? See her? 

Like her? 

Still I do?

And she started walking towards me..

She pointed her finger on me..

She waved her hand and she called my name..

But I ask myself, and I have no clue..

Don’t reply to her? go near her? Wave back? 

Embrace her? 

Still I do?

And she ignored me..

She knows, I am not to be reminded..

Should I look away? Go near her? Speak to her? 

Adore her? 

Still I do?

And she went away..

She don’t know me, or acted like..

She turned back but kept walking away..with a sad face..

But I ask myself, and I have no clue..

Should I be worried? follow her? Run to her? 

Ask her?  

Still I do?